It’s been a couple of days hasn’t it? I actually had to have a look back at my last posts to see where I was up to in this life thingy-ma-jig…
I’m kind of surprised that it’s been a whole week. But what an emotional week it’s been… the highs, the lows, the even lowers, and yet, I’m still sitting here as the lonely, sad-as-ever, fuckup.
Let’s begin with my current issue – I’m not drunk enough to be sitting up in the middle of the night hearing the bed thrashings of the girl I hold a current infatuation with while concerned about money and where I’m going to be moving to.
Maybe I’ll finish this bottle of wine by the time I finish this post.
So, going back – I didn’t do much over the weekend. On Sunday, however, I left the house fairly early in the morning and made it a quarter of the way to the train station before realising I’d forgotten my light… I decided to pass by the corner store and just fetch my own back home… Bad idea – as the girl I may have a current infatuation with was saying goodbye to some guy.
I then chatted to her for a while before heading out.
That night I don’t remember too much as I had A LOT to drink and smoke and I do remember chatting to her for a while but I can’t really remember what was said.
We hung out the next day – we went out for lunch (which was SPENSIVE) and then spent the afternoon drinking tea and watching some reality show she likes…
It was a pretty nice day… But then everything changed the next day.
I went out in the morning and when I got home she was a bit avoidy… Nothing in particular but enough to set of my ultra-paranoia (and I believe now that that was all it was) (Unless it was something I’d said something to saying something to someone I managed to not say something drunkenly to)
And I was also told I needed to move out a month earlier than expected.
I freaked out then – mental meltdown style – and called my sister for some drinks and a talk.
Long story short – I spent the night on her couch after drinking myself into a stupor and spent the next day with her watching movies and looking up new places for me to live.
When I got back home the girl I may have a bit of an infatuation for had gone to her parents (which she didn’t get back until tonight)
I had a bit of a hang out the following evenings with my soon to be ex-housemates and tonight we made a fire.
Now, my housemate who is the boyfriend of the girl I go to art school with, told me that he’d hoped that we’d still hang out after I moved – I’d think it was a just being nice thing but I can’t see a reason for saying it.
For example (and on the other hand) a little later I was talking to the girl I may have an infatuation for and she was talking about how people move in and out of her life and there are a few who stick around… and the question came up (and by that, I mean came out of my mouth before my stoned ass could stop it) of whether or not I was one of those who pass through or stick around.
Stick around, she told me.
That, there, I could see she was just saying it to be nice. Because I asked.
Anyway, that’s where we get back to now. Kinda jealous that it wasn’t me in there with her while the bed was knocking the wall, knowing that it’ll never be me, and getting drunk and writing about it.
Oh, and I have a doctors appointment on monday – I’m hoping some medication will actually make me less of a loser.
I think that’s everything.