Where Things Went Wrong

When I was a kid, I thought it’d be really cool to be one of those guys with hidden skills. I guess it’s like living in a mansion with secret passages.

But I thought it’d be awesome to be one of those guys – Everyone underestimates him, everyone tries to steal or take advantage of him, he’s just some loser… a nothing, a nobody.

But then he breaks out those hidden skills.

He kicks every bodies ass. In a fight – unbeatable, a music competition – unmatched. Some kind of sporting competition – unsurpassed. A battle of wits – unrivaled. Life in general – unbreakable.

These days, I feel like I achieved that cover. I got the whole underestimated loser thing down. People see me as the nothing, the nobody.

But I kind of forgot to pick up those hidden skills. I forgot to learn how to kick ass.

Damn. There’s always one part of the plan you forget.

An Isolated Painting.

This time last week it had finally stopped raining. It had been cold and wet for four days straight – it’s not often you get steady weather in Melbourne, but when it does happen it’s the wrong weather.

Anyway, a week ago it stopped and the sun came out. So, I took the opportunity to take a long walk down into the city – basically, an hours walk – to pick up some white paint.

Woo white paint.

Funny enough, that night I had two beers – and then didn’t have a drink again until last night. Weird. Anyway, to continue.

The next morning, I was up around 4am, again, and broke out my new white paints. I was planning on doing a nice grey background to work on but I came out with this nice grey-green colour.

I let that dry for a day, by which time I changed my mind back and forth about what I wanted to paint. It was a day and a half after that when I decided to paint this photo…

The basic lines and shapes came in pretty well… And so, I didn’t regret my decision as much as I thought I would originally.

(Although my skin colour made it look like something of an emo Simpson.)

And yes, that’s a sheet music stand and an a4 clip board folder which I’m using as a makeshift easel until I can get myself an actual one.

I let that dry a while and then went over it with a new skin colour. The legs and hands turned out pretty good decent acceptable. But I had trouble with the face.

Two more days of work and I got the face up to that point where I was happy to say, ‘fuck this shit, I’m done. No more! I hate my face!’

And really, isn’t that the only way to finish a piece of art?

Been Watching: A Couple of Movies About Writing

I always wanted to be a writer, ever since I was a kid – Hell, one day I may even get off my ass and actually write finish start my book.

But throw a movie or show where the protagonist is a writer and I’ll watch it. Even if it’s bad – which happens a lot more than not – I’ll watch it all the way through.

One movie about an author I watched recently was Not Another Happy Ending. And apart from staring the gorgeous Karen Gillan – who had a naked butt scene in the movie – it wasn’t terribly special.

Something about an editor who realises his best Writer (Gillan) writes more prolifically when she’s upset, so he seeks out to make her depressed… And falls in love with her in the mean time.

Hijinks ensue.

Even still, it’s worth a watch for Karen Gillan being adorably scottish as always… And also, naked butt.

Another, was Author’s Anonymous. Which is about a Writer’s Group full of wannabe writers.

I found this movie funny, but painful (in a The Office kind of way) because I have known people like this. I’ve spent time in a few writer’s groups and there’s always these types of people who have no idea what they’re talking about and somehow say it with absolute authority.

Terrible writers they may be but they keep at it. It always seems to me that it’s always the people who can’t write who love it, while they good writers hate the living bejesus out of it.

Anyway, the main characters in the movie are played by Chris Klein in glasses – because glasses means smart – and Kaley Couco in glasses – because glasses means writery talent.

Couco is the somehow naturally talented, even though she’s never read a book, one whose career takes of leading to everyone in the group becoming insanely jealous… and insane. And Klein is the talented writery one who is a pizza boy and has a crush on Couco.

It’s not great, and there is very little in the way of surprises… the story is exactly what you’d think. (It’s funny how stories about writers are never written by talented writers) but there are a few laughs anyway just for the characters and how uncomfortably familiar they are.

Also, Karen Gillan’s butt.

The Last Few Days of Holidays

When I realised holidays were coming up, when I realised we were getting two weeks off, my thoughts were probably the exact opposite of everyone else in this situation -

I thought, ‘What the hell am I gonna do with two weeks off?’

Well, the answer soon became clear – Practically nothing.

Last night, however, I actually got out of the house and did the whole hang out with people thing.

I went down to the comedy festival and saw a show. It was hilarious and good. Then, had a few drinks with people until around 2 in the morning.

I spent a fair amount of time talking to some guy – a friend of a friend – about John Waters films. He’d just started seeing them and invited me along to some screenings happening soon.

So, might be a new thing to get me out of the house more often, who knows. People always like you more when you just listen to them talk.

I’ve also used the holidays to get some nice long walks into the city going – which I need to do more of because chunky is a bit chunky.

But I’ve still spent too much time watching downloaded movies and shows and need to keep the video player off more often. It’s amazing how much time slips past when you have distractions going on.

The other thing is – apart from last night – my drinking too much has really stopped. No really effort involved on my part, I just haven’t felt like it. In fact, I’ve still got a bottle of wine in the fridge from a week or so ago… Weird.

Anyway, my last couple of days of holidays will be spent on school stuff. Kind of.

I have a painting that I’ve been working on for the last week and apart from my face (I hate my face! It’s just not working out!) it’s going okay.

I also have to try and work out what I’m doing for sculpture class and I wanted to have another print ready for print making.

Everything and Nothing

It seems to be one of those days today – You know the type. Where everything is on your mind but you can’t focus on anything.

What’s troubling me today?

Everything and nothing. It’s her. It’s life. It’s the lack of coffee in my mug and the fact I can’t stop smoking cigarette after cigarette. So I just sit here.

It’s money. It’s work. I need to go for a walk and clear my head but I need to lie down and take a nap. So I just sit here.

What do I do, What do I do.

I want to paint my pictures and write my books and tell her how I feel and make another coffee and sleep. I want to move and have money and live simple and whatever.

But what’s the point? So I just sit here.

I want to travel back in time and visit the younger me – Slap him in the face and tell him to grow up.

I fill up my coffee mug, I roll another cigarette. What more can I do?

It seems to be one of those days today – You know the type. Where everything is on your mind but you can’t focus on anything.